For the past month or so I’ve been feeling incredibly burnt out. I work half six until half three five days a week, I’ll then go to the gym for two hours and then I’ll blog and edit my little heart out until half 11 at night, then I’ll wake up at 5 o’ clock and repeat the day again. For what you ask? So I don’t have to work half six until half three five days a week and where I can live comfortably on my own creative work!
I’m constantly working even on my ‘days off’. I’m either taking floral images for future career plans or I’m taking images for a blog that may or may not become a career, rather than enjoying my time. I still haven’t managed to find a balance in juggling floral photography, blogging as well as other career plans I hope to achieve (I really want to start create clubbing nights as well as hold events), whilst still having ‘Rhian time’ and working in an environment that I don’t want to be in but have to in order to keep a roof over my head and put food on my plate
I’ve unfortunately reached the point where if I don’t reach a personal goal (for example I aim to write three articles in one evening) then I punish myself. I will internally call myself a failure, a disappointment rather than applauding myself for completing one good article (which is better than producing three mediocre articles).
If you haven’t noticed I write five articles a week (that’s a lot of articles, and a lot of time) and I always get people telling me ‘you can relax you know? Go back to writing 3 articles’ but I can’t. I feel bad when I don’t. If I don’t work hard I cannot play harder later but that is definitely the wrong mind set.
However I’ve only just come to the realisation that because I’m forcing myself so much I’ve come to an absolute halt. I loved Toy Photography and I loved writing Funko Friday posts, now I have to force myself to take images and write those articles and I shouldn’t be doing that, and neither should you!
If your like me and your forcing yourself to do something creative when you really don’t want to. Stop. Don’t force yourself in doing something you don’t want to do. I had an epiphany the other day where I told myself ‘just do the blog for fun, it’s your blog, and you can’t put whatever you want on it’ and you know what? That’s what I’m going to do!! It should be an enthusiastic past time rather than an obsessive one.
I can’t wait to enjoy my blog on my terms and on my own time and I hope you will all see a difference and I hope you will enjoy just as much as me!!